Cretins of the World Wide Web • Part IV • Special Edition

Special Edition

The first shared award in history —at least 26,000 winners and counting— and the first one that’s going to keep being awarded, continuously, to everyone who joins the fortunate mass.

[skull with crossbones]

Very easy to become a winner too. No special web design or needed, no (on the contrary, all you need is a Mac —which is exactly what makes this a “special edition”— and a torrent client), no outstanding skills necessary. Just follow these easy, simple steps:

  1. Launch your favorite torrent app. Anything will do.
  2. Download bootlegged software, like “iWork ’09” or “Photo$hop ¢$4”. It’s free —fuck Appl€ and Adob€, they’re not gonna get your money today— and you can start using it right away, no authentication required.
  3. Install the downloaded software on your machine and make sure you give your admin password when required by the installer. This is important!
  4. Go to your preferred discussion forum and complain about the trojan you’ve just installed on your machine. Breathe through your mouth while observing that you’re not the only one; at least 26,000 other people are on your side, breathing through their mouths exactly like you do, hating everyone who trolls your threads with flames like “you had it coming to you” and worthless comments like “you can’t fix stupid”.
  5. Panic and buy antivirus software. Or better, download pirated copies :)

And then come over here to get your award.

You don’t even need to drop by, actually; the award is yours automatically. How’s that for convenience?

For a bonus prize, spreading the word about the Mac finally becoming as vulnerable to viruses as Windoze will do. No need to know the difference between a virus and the trojan freshly installed on that box; let the pros at SecureMac and the likes worry about the details, that’s their problem ;)

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